Change

I had that moment last night of just really missing my church family in NC. It was a bit overwhelming. Transition has been kind to me (I would say 80% of it has been almost sweet), but now and then – usually at night when things die down a bit – I just find myself missing everyone. It is perfectly normal, I guess.

College and my experiences here in Massachusetts are all so different and drastically new. I guess what I was aching for last night was something familiar: going to church on a weekday morning and staying till beyond five with my youth pastor, his wife, and their kids; getting to lead youth in a Bible study and build friendships with them. When I go back to visit, I know I will be welcomed back with open arms and love, but the home I left will no longer be the same (I understand that). It too will be different.

Now, I am not dissing change. Different can be entirely wonderful. However, there is still a mourning process for the “loss” of something. Again, I have not lost this community in NC. But, I have in a way lost what once was. Change will not make my NC reunions any less sweeter or less delightful. It will just be…different. I guess no matter where you are in life, or how much you trust that God has everything under control, the knowing that things will from here on out be different is still hard to swallow.

We are all constantly growing and changing, being formed all the more into the man or woman God created us to be. Sometimes that means we must stay where we are in life, and continue to deepen our roots. Sometimes that means we must suddenly uproot to be planted somewhere else among other flowers and plants. And when you go back to visit that sunny garden, you find that those buds you left behind are now flowers, or trees, striving in their environment in which they were called to remain. You too are now a flower, or a tree, but you just needed some new fertilizer to help your grow taller and stronger. You look at these dear plants who took you from being a seed to a bud, they too have changed. It saddens you that you were unable to watch them grow. However, you all agree that it was for the best (you would not have grown that way you did if you had not uprooted). Change, even if it involves a little bit of wilting, has the power to produce a flower. (This is quite a positive note, so I will end with this).