Time for La Vida!

In just a few, I will be getting in the car with my mom. we will be driving off to The Bennett Center at Gordon College where I and other students will board a shuttle bus to go to the Adirondack Mountains in New York. I am SO flippin' excited!!!

No shampoo, no deodorant (I can hear the gasps and feel the grimaces), no pillow, no toilet paper...no toilet (I know, I know, TMI), I couldn't be more stoked!

For the next 12 days I will be soaking in nature, challenging myself as an individual, pushing myself physically (not to much with active induced asthma though...), growing spiritually, and creating (hopefully) some incredible friendships.

So I am off. Off on this grand adventure that will become a part of my "Adventurous Life" (Which seems to be a theme/motto with Gordon).

Till next time!

Off to Massachusetts!

I've read in books stories of plane rides where people got to minister to others. That being on my mind and heart as my brother was being driven to the airport, I prayed. Asking God to take care of who I would be sitting next to on the flight, I didn't have a clue what He had in store for me.

I was reading "The Great Divorce" by C.S Lewis, when the woman who was sitting next to me asked if I liked the book, and it all went wonderfully up-hill from there. She knew about Gordon - which was just some more of God's awesome way of confirming things for me. We shared life, ministry, and God - we even prayed at the end of the flight! Isn't it amazing how involved in our lives God can be? He can take - as long as you ask - something as typical and mundane like a plane flight and turn into a wonderful divine intervention of His awesomeness.

And this was just the plane flight!

I got to attack my mom with hugs when she met me at baggage claim as well as throughout the day. It's great getting to be able to talk to HER and not to her on the phone. To be able to laugh together, goof off together, it's a joy!

I still had to get thing set for La Vida, so a good chunk of the day we went to Walgreens, Market Basket, and Wal-Mart. I got all that I need (Sunglasses - $15. Sunblock - $8. Bug Spray - $5. Knowing you're going to have a wonderful time out in God's creation - priceless.), except for biodegradable soap. WTFT! (What the french toast) We are going to check out Whole Foods (praying we will be successful).

Now, I can not keep my eyes open for any longer. I get to go on a campus visit at Gordon tomorrow!!! Sweet Dreams all!

LOADS to do...cause I got some lovely places to be!

The entire week has been an EXTREMELY busy week and an EXTREMELY productive week preparing for La Vida. I've managed to get anything Gordon-wise that is due by June 30th done in this week (since on the 30th I will be probably canoeing on a lake without electricity - obviously.), minus one thing (but I can still get it done before I leave). This medical form insanity is starting to have a light at the end of it's dark, hollow, disgusting tunnel. Loan stuff is still in process, but I've got my goals still for it. AND, I have been given all the clothes I need for the trip (more on this later).

I have driven way more than I ever want to in a week and am ready for two weeks and some odd days of not driving. Pretty sure on Thursday I traveled over the whole triangle area (downtown Raleigh to Wake Forest to Durham to Cary back to Raleigh, yup, I'm serious.). The breaks, that still weren't really breaks, but at least didn't consist of driving, calling, emailing, or taking care of anything "big," I tried to take some advantage of it's relaxing opportunities, but guys...I'm exhausted! Dog-gone tired never really comes to mind...but I am DOG-GONE TIRED! Sleep has been off for me this week - but that doesn't help. But, complaining will stop there (it may just continue later *wink*).

I will continue this soon on how blessed I've been this week (this is always the good stuff!).

I'm crazy about em'

Tuesday held another Spark night (youth home group at my church). One cool dude gave his testimony that night and did an incredible job! It is always exciting to not only see a young person step out and say that they would like to share their testimony, but to also watch how leadership qualities emerge through their growth. Tuesday night we also bid farewell to another cool dude in the group. He moves to Washington today (Thursday), and he will be missed.

Never thought I would be a part of leading a youth home group. Never thought I would be a leader in youth ministry. But here I am! Youth are crazy, but I am CRAZY about them. I love watching youth come to Christ, surrendering their life and giving their all to Him. Watching them ask questions and seek His goodness, it's a lovely treat. I want to see youth on fire, passionately worshiping Christ!

There are moments when I wonder if what I'm teaching is making a difference. Am I just boring them? But then a question is asked, or a youth will add their input to a topic of discussion, and my "heart purrs" (as a lovely friend of mine says). The group I teach (Junior High students) is small (3-5 youth on an average night), but I wouldn't trade them for anything.

At times I wonder if I'm doing enough. That seems to be a common feeling, the feeling that "I should be doing more!" And that's where I got to find that balance, where I challenge myself as a youth leader, but also where I need to have grace upon myself and realize that I can't do it all, especially on my own (I am a leader with a limp as I read in one book).

As my last month draws nearer, I'm finding myself become more and more nostalgic. Talking to the youth, praying for them, teaching them, and just goofing off with them places a bittersweet feeling in my heart. Especially watching as our seniors are about to head off to college, middle schoolers about to enter high school, and the tweens (ministry one is in before entering the youth ministry) about to enter the youth ministry, it's crazy!

My heart's prayer is as I continue to communicate with them while in college, I hope to hear of exciting experiences. Like, that crazy service experience, or that incredible worship night, or how the youth is growing fruitfully (and I'm not talking particularly about size), or how God is just growing them and they are just crazy about Him!

Though I've only been with these youth for three years now, they will be a part of my life forever. I love them dearly and will look forward to the times where I will get to visit them!

To the Wyld.Fire Youth - I love you!

LA VIDA!!!

I'm going!

Deposit has been deposited
Ticket has been booked
Forms faxed
Clothes...well, still working on that one

But the main thing is...I'M GOING!

For a while, I didn't think it was going to happen. And, I'll fess up, at moments I didn't have faith that it will be taken care of (sorry about that Jesus). However, God is gracious and He loves me! So far, everything - including the bumps and obstacles - has been working out beautifully.

This upcoming Sunday I will be hopping aboard good ole Jet Blue and flying to Massachusetts. That Tuesday, I will be traveling to the Adirondack (I have yet to say that word correctly...) Mountains in upstate New York, where my wilderness adventure will start! Twelve days later I will arrive back to Massachusetts, with hair with an elevation that is astronomical (and don't get me started on what I will probably be smelling like), skin that's hopefully nicely tanned, and mainly, friendships that have been created and a relationship with Jesus that has been deepened. I'm itching with excitement to start!

Medical Madness

Something that is required for incoming students at Gordon - and for pretty much any student coming into any college - is that they fill out a medical questionnaire form that includes a physical exam and immunization requirements. This form is going to be the end of me. I have no record of my immunizations at my current doctor - not good. So basically I've been following a rabbits trail and have had to call all of my previous doctors, from birth to now, in search of when I've received my different immunizations.

Never have I made this many phone calls. Before, calling people on the phone was difficult for me (like, bring on the panic attack). Now, I think I'm a pro! Welcome to adulthood! (I should just make that a phrase. W.A.H. - Welcome to AdultHood)!

Once this craziness is all set, and I know which immunizations I have received, I will either have to a) go to the health department to get any immunizations I may have missed (it's free to get most of them done there, thank you Jesus!) or b) I may have everything I need and I can get this thing complete and sent out (hoping for this!).

La Vida?

Why is that you don’t seem to realize how much you’ve been going, going, going until you’ve actually just stopped? Well, I being a little energizer bunny lately, just recently found myself stopping and relaxing for a small time. It all then hit me at once, how much I’ve been running around (both physically and mentally) and how tired I was. My conclusion? I’m ready for a break (July can’t come any sooner). What makes it hard is feeling like I can’t afford a break, literally.

An opportunity was presented before me just the other day. Gordon College has this program called La Vida – an outdoor expedition. It’s a 12 day camping trip filled with hiking/backpacking, canoeing/kayaking, and rope courses – and this girl REALLY wants to go.

The trip is June 22nd till July 3rd. Oh yes. It will be that soon. It couldn’t have come at a better time. The trip feels very convenient, yet at the same time very inconvenient. It would be an amazing trip where I can start to create some friendships (it would be nice to start college already knowing some students who I may have possibly bonded rather incredibly with), knock out a required core credit, gain a great experience, and honestly, yes, get away for a bit (I am flawed). However, it will interrupt this college registration process of sending in forms and stuff (which I could get most of it possibly completed, God-willingly, within this upcoming week, God-willingly). And of course, like most things, it will cost money. This lovely experience will cost me the ripe price of a deposit, airfare, and clothes (because I can’t wear anything cotton on this trip and that pretty much makes up my wardrobe).

As I’ve been going over this stuff in my mind and wondering about money and what to do, I was brought to a verse:

Philippians 3: 12-14 – “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus too hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Okay, I don’t want to be one to take something out of context, so if I am, please give me a cyberspace slap in the face (I like that that rhymed). But after reading Philippians 3:12-14, I feel like it applies to what I am currently writing about – especially in terms of straining towards what is ahead.

This process is interesting, I’ll give it that. God is definitely doing something in me and is at work here in my life. Learning to make choices is something I believe He is taking me through. Not only that, but I’m learning to make choices and accept the consequences of that decision, whether good or bad (can there be such a thing as a good consequence? It feels like an oxymoron).

Go to La Vida? Or don't go to La Vida? That is the question.....

Going on 19

(Side note: Sorry for the 6 day time lapse of nothingness to read)

I'm nineteen. As a great friend of mine told me - after wishing me a happy birthday -at 12:00 am on June 7th, "You've been alive for nineteen years." That's it? Why does it feel like much more than 19 years?

Besides the fact that I had to work a small shift that morning - I won't be bitter - my birthday was filled with sweet moments of joy, laughter, and fun. The lovely day involved a free grand slam from Denny's (hot diggity dog!), picking up a bangin' cake, and a great party - which was filled with hula hooping, good games like "Big Booty" and "Pterodactyl," and getting to eat the bangin' cake.

A moment of reflection: How was year 18? It was a sweetly broken year. Like any year, it had some really wonderful moments, days, weeks; however, it was a very HARD year (which can explain part of the time lapse of no posts and the fact that there's been a lot of going and going and no just sitting around and having the time to write up something). I had a lot of growing up to do, a good chunk of which I think had to happen prematurely. There were some tough lessons to be learned - some of which I am still learning - like how to only depend on Jesus, that I got to make my own decisions (and they are between Jesus and I, not I and the others around me), that I can't let the opinions of others affect me, that in some things I am going to be on my own, but that that is okay, and the list goes on. Coming into adulthood is not easy, and I've already had a crash course in it.

BUT, I'm not going to go on to say how HARD and BROKEN this year has been without mentioning the "sweetly" aspect and some of the wonderful moments. I have grown SO flippin' much, seriously. My relationship with Jesus is in a beautiful place where it was not a year ago. And I have learned some wonderful things, like that I want to go to college to study God's Word and ministry.

At sometime I should go a little deeper and share my eighteenth year testimony, but today is not that day.

What about year nineteen (this new age that I am adjusting pretty well to thus far, but only been for two days)??? I think this is going to be a beautiful year/age. Am I in a new season of my life? Not sure yet, I got to talk to Jesus about that one. However, I am ready for the challenges the lie ahead, which all mainly revolve around the fact that I will be going to college in roughly 2 months 10 days.

Year nineteen...hello.

It's a Process

I applied to Gordon pretty late in the game, so I’m finding myself having to go through the process of sending in forms and such rather quickly. The deadlines for everything are typically spread throughout the beginning of the year – giving the students time to gather it all together. Again, since I’ve started this process late, I got to get everything done and sent in ASAP. Deposit (sent), housing questionnaire (sent), medical forms (not yet done), and financial aid verification forms (not yet done), and this is just the beginning. Once this all gets sent in, a new phase starts – looking for loans, and hopefully…register for classes (the fun stuff!). And with that, I guess I then have to wait (unless something else comes up). The college process is fun and exciting at one moment, yes, but at other moments it can cause some great anxiety. All in all, it is making itself out to be an interesting one.

Another process - sanctification. Simply, sanctification is growing in Christ. Further, it’s being willing to cooperate (saying yes) with God’s spirit to be transformed, while trusting in the One who is leading the process. Ultimately, the process of sanctification will cost us everything. An analogy I was taught with this was to think of it in terms of a check. You write the check out to Jesus. The amount is everything (that’s a LOT of zeros). Gotta make sure you sign it. Then, you give it to Jesus.

The thing with this process, the growing, most of the time we tend to not really see or notice it while it’s happening (cause it’s usually during the hard times that we grow, and we are usually focusing more on how hard or stressful that hard time may be). These past few months I knew I was growing – past experiences have shown me that – but at first, I was focused on how hard things were. Once I began to give things over more to Jesus, I could not only see the growth, I could feel it. Now, looking back, I can see how I’ve grown and why.

This morning was just another part of what makes this process, this walk with Christ, so wonderfully beautiful. The past couple of days of getting lost in the college process, yes, I was including Jesus in it, but I didn’t get myself to spend that devoted, focused time with Him. It is crazy how just a few days without spending some good one-on-one time with Jesus can quickly affect you. So, I took some of that much needed time today…and wow!

The fire that grows, and the connection that deepens during these intimate moments with our heavenly Father, our close friend, is awesomely indescribable.
I would go more in depth with this topic, but the time is getting late and this chick is fading fast.

Sweet dreams all!

A Spark Lesson

(Every Tuesday nights – except for the last Tuesday of every month – I help lead and teach my churches youth home group, Spark. For the past month and for these next two months, I have been teaching the Junior High Group – I love you guys! I thought it’d be cool to start sharing with you all – whoever you are – what I’m teaching these awesome Junior High students. This is a bit more revised then what actually came out of my mouth, but you get the idea!)

DEADHEADING

I’ve just finished a five-week house sitting gig for a good friend of mine. One thing she had me do while she was away was tend to her garden – simply just watering it every day. This in itself did make me a bit weary – I did not want to be recognized as Katrina A.K.A. Flower Killer. But how hard can watering a garden be? With that in mind, I think I went at it with some good enthusiasm. The process was, well, simply put, a process. There were some casualties I am sad to say, and I don’t care for squirrels much now (stinkin’ critters attacking those flowers!.. Squirrel! – he he, Up reference…), but in the end, the flowers bloomed rather nicely – take that flower killer!

So going back to some of those causalities, I would be watering and enjoying the flowers that had in fact bloomed, but then, next to that pretty sprouted flower would be a dead, shriveled up flower! What the French toast!!! Maybe the flower didn’t get enough water – amateur waterer here! – But in the end, there were flowers like that. Thankfully this didn’t kill my gardener ego, because I really didn’t have a gardener ego in the first place!

I mentioned this to my friend – the one who has spent time, money, and energy in putting together the garden and all the other pots of plants – and she in turn mentioned to me a gardening process, called deadheading. No, not like that band Dead Heads.

Deadheading is the when you cut off the dead flowers in order to let the nutrients/nourishments be used on the flowers that are still alive.

Ese es un mensaje! (“That’s a message!”)

So how does this apply to us?

Being with Christ produces great fruit in our lives (think the fruits of the spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control). Areas and things in our life that are dedicated to Him (maybe a certain skill like singing, or ministry, or your job even) are like flowers. Remember, we’re still human – an imperfect creation loved by a perfect creator. So there may still be some areas in our life that we do not allow God into, a dead area in our life, a dead flower. This relates more to the areas that are covered with sin. However, if there’s an area in our life that God isn’t a part of, nor has reign over, it will essentially end up dead.

So here are my questions…

What are our priorities (what we’re spending our time, money, and energy on)? What are we giving all our energy to? What’s our focus on?

For me, I have spent a LOT of time and energy on worrying and focusing on the future. It did NOT produce something that was living in my life; instead it harbored anxiety and doubt in my life.

This can be the same with an addiction.

If we put all our time and energy into something that in itself is a dead thing … what a waste!

1 Corinthians 6:12 – "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything.

Today we can do pretty much whatever we want, but even so, not everything we do is good for us (drugs, sex outside of marriage, cheating on a test, fighting, worrying). We got to set our priorities straight. We got to refocus.

We got to allow God to cut away the dead flowers – this way our energy can be put to use to grow things that are living. With worrying for me, I had to share my worries with Christ, surrender them to Him, and now daily, I got to make the choice to not “Be anxious in anything” (Philippians 4:6-7).

Some dead flowers are close to the living flowers – maybe even attached to them. There are some things in life that are not bad, but within it there can still be sin, for example, a dating relationship. Dating in itself is not sinful. However, sex outside of marriage is. So if you cut that out of the relationship – the dead flower - the flower will nourish, giving you a growing, healthy relationship.

Or let’s say school. School is not sinful, obviously. However, cheating is wrong. If you are spending all your time and energy on cheating, it will only produce something that is dead – and in the end it won’t help you. So if you cut cheating out and spend that time say on getting extra help, not only will it produce a healthier flower, but probably even a better grade.

Cutting these things out of our life can and will be hard and even painful. But it isn’t through our own strength that we do this…its through Jesus and His boundless strength (Philippians 4:13). What is an area in your life that may be considered a dead flower?
John 15
1"I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
By having our priorities revolve around Christ and letting Him be our main focus in life, the only thing in the end that we will produce in our life is living flowers.

A decision has been made…

I have made the decision – and I can’t go back cause email has been sent and everything – that I will be leaving my job by the end of June. This way I will have the month of July off to spend with family and friends before I leave in August. AH!

Always I have been the type to do the responsible thing. So for a while now I’ve been battling with this decision with my job. Figuring I should work all the way till I leave in order to save money, sounded like the right choice – and I felt very obligated to follow through with that decision. However, with the amount of days I was already planning on taking off in July, and with the few hours I have been given to work – I probably wouldn’t have really come out with a lot of money in July. Already I am down to working ONE day, Saturday. Not fun, but a necessary evil for the month of June – I got to be a little bit responsible…it is in my nature. It’s nice to have this all figured out and decided though – RELIEF!!!