It’s been almost two weeks since La Vida. Those lovely days now feel like a dream (did the wonderfulness even occur?). In these almost two weeks, I got to reunite with a dear bosom friend who I have not seen in five months (she was over in the Philippines studying under midwives in a birthing home), I learned that my car had broken down (which it has just recently gotten fixed – thank God! – and was fortunately not as bad of a problem as we had thought), and I had also learned that I was going to have trouble securing an outside loan for school.
Transition is, well, transition. It’s crazy what 12 days out in the wilderness can do to a girl. The simplicity of that life, it was luscious. By day three of coming back, I was already running around again trying to get things done. It feels like everything that was awaken in me, that was established in my life, that I had learned during La Vida, is now being tested.
I feel SO ready for Gordon, for this new season in my life. Sadly it just feels like my circumstances are trying to fight that. With my current situation, I will not be able to dorm at Gordon this year. I think I have envisioned this new life at college so vividly in a dorm, that the thought of not dorming is rather hard – it’s almost as though I’m morning a “lost.” Not quite sure how reasonable that emotion is, or how pathetic.
God is Sovereign though. Those “who see the Lord lack no good thing” (Psalm 34:10). Whatever happens will be GOOD. Right now, it’s just hard to see that.
I will be commuting back and forth to Gordon while living with my mom (who lives a tad bit more than 30 minutes from the college). My heart has been missing my mom dearly, so I’m looking forward to living with her. But my heart that is also yearning for new independence, well, I think you all get the picture.
Romans 15:13
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
It’s time to trust in God, to hope in Him. There is a verse in a song that goes “Sovereign, you are still sovereign, even when my circumstances don’t change.” It is a true reality, but a hard one. But my soul rests in the one whose “presence goes with me and gives me rest” (Exodus 33:14).
I don’t want to give in to anxiety, fear, worry, doubt, and depression. No. That is not a choice I want to make. I have had to make a lot of choices within the past few months, and to give in to the negative will NOT be one of them. No.
I choose joy.
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Whoa, honey-girl. I wondered what was going on this last couple of days. So this means the lesser loan was approved? And what does this mean for dates?
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The lesser loan was unfortuantly NOT approved. :( BUT, things are happening, and God seems to be proving Himself faithful (As always!) in His provision.
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