Home

I am a young woman who has been blessed with many places that I can consider HOME. That all too familiar phrase “home is where the heart is” rings true for me on different levels.

Home is where your Nook is. During this and more upcoming school breaks and vacations, I will be staying with my mom and her partner. They currently only have a one bedroom apartment, but they have gone far and beyond to bless me with a space to call my own. As one enters the living room, they can easily notice a solemn “wall” of red curtains, cutting off a part of the room from the rest. This divider is the beginning of my beloved Nook. It is quaint, yet extremely cozy and lovable. The space has become my own. I cannot acknowledge my Nook without giving proper credit to its creators. My mom and Gayle have become pillars in my life. They keep me from caving in and are always there for me in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t have felt as comfortable sleeping in a living room if it wasn’t for their comfort and nurturing hearts.
Home is where your Church is. Although I have been attending a new church up here in Massachusetts (for the most part), my first church home will always take heart at the Raleigh Vineyard. That lovely sanctuary was where some of my vital growing up years was experienced. I learned that family could go beyond blood and could be a spiritual thing. Some of my backbone support attends the Raleigh Vineyard. They will forever be a family I can turn to, as well as a home to run to.

Home is where your Growth is. (I couldn’t think of a better title for this section). It was a simple day. I had driven back to campus (I had spent the weekend at my mom’s), when I called my mom to let her know that I had gotten to Gordon safely. My words were along the lines of this: I made it back home. I had referred to my college as home. Oh boy. Despite how wrong those words at the moment sounded, they were honestly true. Gordon is my home. As I sit here, typing away at this post, I eagerly await returning to that gorgeous campus (now covered in wonderful snow). For that moment when I get to reunite with my dear roommate and friends and continue this still new and thrilling journey that is college.

Home is where Jesus is. This is a reference on the current life, where salvation is not something to come after death, but that can also come now. Through the Holy Spirit, Jesus is well alive right this very minute in the hearts of those who have acknowledged him and accepted his gift of life. Jesus isn’t stuck in the church. He is with us EVERY step of the way. Jesus isn’t only found at the Raleigh Vineyard. He isn’t hiding behind the curtain wall that conceals my wonderful Nook. I don’t just meet him amidst the campus and life at Gordon. Where I go, Jesus meets me there. Where Jesus is, as well as where you invite him into, becomes a home.

Home is where you heart is. So, if Jesus is in your heart…dare I say anymore?

Happenings

There have been a lot of fun happenings over these past few days…

For Christmas I received a beautiful ukulele that I am eagerly strumming away at, learning chords, notes, and songs. Already I got down most of “Somewhere over the Rainbow” and the hymn “O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go.” I feel quite accomplished.

Also I finally got my final grades in for my first semester at Gordon…I made Dean’s List! It was not till I got these grades that I felt like the semester came to its culmination. I did it. I got through my first semester, and I got through it well.

Next, as celebration and reward to the good grades, I finally (after much humming and hawing) got my nose pierced. I will be honest, it did hurt. But, it did not hurt enough that I swore out loud. Overall though, I love it! It was great to do something…wonderfully crazy. The thing that held me back from getting a nose piercing sooner was wondering what others would think and the aspect of it hurting like hell. So finally I went for it. I don’t regret a single moment!

My brother and his wife came up from NC for a visit. They were here from late Christmas night to extremely early New Year’s morning. It was great being able to see them and get in some of that bonding time. Seeing them made me miss my North Carolina home all the more. However, I would not trade my current Massachusetts’ life and experiences.

It may not seem like much, but there has been a lot of going and going and not nearly enough stopping. I feel unsettled with the processing of my first semester at Gordon. I believe I still have much more to reflect and contemplate on. Truth is I may never be done processing it all. This is a rather daunting realization. My analytical side is not pleased.

However, I do know this: that this has been a wonderfully sweet semester with a swirl of challenges and moments of stressful situations, where I found great growth, hard realizations, and created memories that I will one day write about in a memoir (I got my aspirations).

I also know this: that God has shown up, that He has provided, and that He was/is with my every step of the way, covering me with his favor, mercy, and love.

That’s all I know for now at 1:05 in the morning. Much more for a later time.

Something Special

There is something precious about the Christmas season.

Yes, there is definitely some ugly (have you seen the mall around this time of year?), but it does not even touch the beauty of this holiday. To the “grinches” and “scrooges” out there in the world, I do not understand you, at all. How can one hear O Holy Night and not feel at peace or hear Santa Claus is Coming to Town and not feel excitement? Is it possible to look at a Christmas tree and not feel in awe of its tranquil sight? I doubt it. Christmas food is delightful; and who doesn’t love candy? Christmas movies, as cheesy as some are, still (after watching them for many years) leave you feeling warm inside. Getting to see a child’s face when they open a present they’ve been longing for makes all the lines, traffic, and money spent worth every precious second. And when you wake up to find that the world around you has been covered in white wonder, you suddenly find yourself transported into a magical world that leaves you feeling breathless and giddy.

Christmas is the season of joy, hope, cheer, celebration, laughter, giving, receiving, sharing, and spending time with those who you love the most. No matter how much people have been trying to de-holidize (new word!) Christmas (it’s all “happy holidays”, “season’s greetings”, and being politically correct nowadays), there is and always will be something rather Divine and Holy about it. There is no denying it. As pagan as some of the practices may be, your heart (at one point or another) cannot help but glance towards that little manger where a precious and miraculous baby laid. There, fast asleep, laid Joy, Peace, and Hope.

Isn’t Christmas something special?

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Dependency

How does one build a dependency on God?

It is not easy. For one, we are all very independent beings. And two, we seem to have a knack for depending on everything but God. I’m not sure why we are like this. Yes, I suppose the obvious reason is SIN. But this is what I don’t grasp: we KNOW that God is Comfort, Joy, Peace, and Love, yet we still choose to depend on things that are just a figment of it. Why must we be so dense?! And I am no excuse.

Where is this all stemming from? Well…

Last night as I trying (emphasis on trying) to sleep, I found myself praying. I was asking God for a church home and family (much like the one that I left back in North Carolina). Within this prayer I asked for a spiritual mentor, not that I don’t have any in NC, but there is something comforting about sitting face-to-face with a person who wants and enjoys giving you spiritual advice and encouragement. So there I was, praying.

If only I had a spiritual mentor, someone who I could turn to when I need advice on ministry or encouragement on my spiritual growth, then things would be easier. Then a light bulb turned on.

How dependent on people am I that I go praying for more to depend on? Friendships/relationships are a beautiful thing, obviously. But could it be that the thing I am praying for…has been with me all along, since the beginning?

The next question: how does one break an unhealthy dependency on others and build a healthy dependency on Christ?

Well…I guess I am going to have to learn and find out!

SNOW!!!

It’s snowing! Finally! This is not momentary flurries or a light dusting…it’s SNOWING!

I have talked to the weather many times about this, and now today, he/she (does weather have a gender?) has so willing obliged to my complaints and consistent nagging. My wintry weather philosophy is this: if it is going to be cold, there might as well be white snow (as if there was such a thing as non-white snow…).

Lately the weather forecast has been teasing and pulling at my heartstrings. Expect snow…nothing. It is going to snow…nope never mind, today is going to be sunny. It will snow…I see snow…nope, forget it, it’s already gone. So when the forecast showed the lovely predication of white precipitation, I was incredulous and to be honest, bitter. I felt like I was being lied to again. But alas, snow has fallen (and is still fallen!)!

It IS beginning to ( finally) look a lot like Christmas!

It may not look like much...but within seconds the ground was covered! *squeal of delight*

Bye-Bye First Semester at Gordon!

As of 9:30 on Thursday morning, I finished my last exam (Foundations of Youth Ministry), hence culminating the end of my first semester at Gordon. …Wait…I’m done?! Seriously? It went by so quickly. I must have blacked out a couple of days. Gosh.

I remember at the beginning of the semester being told that it would all go by so fast. My reply was disbelief - I had yet to get through orientation and it felt like an eternity had passed (it was going to be a long four years). Now, I am already done with my first semester.

I have also heard that it just keeps going by faster. If this first semester passed by so quickly, I can’t imagine how quick the other semesters are going to go by. I don’t think in all honesty that I want it to go by THIS fast.

So now I have 30 days to catch up on sleep, reflect on this past semester, see family and friends, do nothing, review Spanish (so I won’t forget it), write, and read (amongst many other things), while preparing myself for the upcoming and final semester of my Freshman year. I seriously can’t believe that I am at this point in my life. [I apologize in advance for the potential repeated themes of reflection (and even confusion) during these next few (or more) posts. Bear with me – I am still processing not only this semester, but this past year of my life as well (and I may be doing this for some time – I hear it can take a while).]

My mind won’t seem to let me write any further. I guess that means bed for me (before midnight?! *gasp*).

Sweet dreams.

Sleep

College students don’t get much sleep. It’s a “no duh Sherlock” statement, but we (or more so I) need to be reminded of it. In about 6 hours and 4 minutes I will be waking up to get ready for my last and final exam of the semester (Foundations of Youth Ministry). I “went to bed” a little less than an hour ago. What the heck?! I can’t fall asleep. It appears that my body has now been wired to fall asleep around the precise time of 1:30ish-2 o’clock. Good grief.

I am trying to recall an interesting “fact.” At the beginning of this semester, I remember being told that during my college life one of three things would get sacrificed: schoolwork, friendships, or sleep. Well, I got to do schoolwork (I would prefer not to fail), and friends are a must (I think staying up late and laughing till my stomach hurts by myself would get old rather quickly). So alas, bye-bye sleep!

Next semester I will adapt to a better sleeping schedule…yeah right!

I know a few students who punctually go to bed around the ripe time of eleven o’clock. ELEVEN O’CLOCK! Gosh, imagine. That sounds delightful…but it also sounds rather dull. It isn’t till after eleven when all the fun starts!

One thing is for certain: sleep is precious. It is ironic that sleep is one of the few things our bodies need the most, yet it is one of the few things that we deprive our bodies of the most. Darn irony!

I could say that I’ll sleep when I’m dead. But am I crazy?! I won’t be sleeping! I am going to be laughing to three o’clock in the morning with Jesus every night (if there is such a concept of time in heaven…I couldn’t say).

So I come back to the same conclusion. College students don’t get much sleep.

This is what I would like to do... (sleep!)

...Oh well...